Lulu Sulkeld, Senior Worker at the Catalyst Support Safe Havens, talks about creating a self-soothing box, which can help a person get through a mental health crisis.
What is a self-soothing box?
A self-soothing box is any form of container (box/bag/cylinder) which contains items that help ground you when you’re feeling stressed, anxious, low or are having the urge to harm yourself. Grounding can be achieved by engaging with your 5 senses: touch, smell, sight, taste and hearing. The box may contain things that help distract you.
The box can be kept at home, but it is a good idea to make your self-soothing box portable – perhaps you could fit everything into a little bag that you can take with you wherever you go. If you’re out and about and haven’t got your box handy, using an app such as Calm Harm could help.
A Safe Haven support worker with lived experience says:
“I carry my self-soothe bag everywhere with me. It’s a simple yet effective way to provide a sense of safety, helping ground me if I’m feeling dissociative. When I feel overwhelmed, it also helps me stay present and regain a sense of calm”.
Why create a self-soothing box?
Numerous studies have shown that self-soothing boxes can be effective in reducing anxiety and stress. It has been found that self-soothing promotes cognitive restructuring and induces a positive change in emotional state. They are found to be particularly helpful for those who have experienced ACES (adverse childhood experiences). A self-soothing box won’t always solve everything, but they can be a great comforting tool when life feels overwhelming. It is understood by some psychiatrists that being in the rhythm of doing an activity can be a helpful way of distraction, and going through a self-soothing box can be one such activity.
What to think about when creating a self-soothing box
Creating a self-soothing box from scratch may feel daunting. You might be left pondering about times that you felt most grounded and calm or feel overwhelmed with choice of what to put in your box. I would always start small and simple, and you can add to your box gradually over time, figuring out what works and what is less effective. My advice would be to start with one or two of your senses first. Perhaps you have a favourite photo (sight) of you and your best friend that you want to put in your box. Maybe you have a fidget toy (touch) that helps you stay in the present moment and reduce anxiety?
Ask a friend to write you a note for you to look at when you’re struggling and need a bit of a boost. These are all easy ways of beginning to build up your box.
Making cost-effective self-soothing boxes
Self-soothing boxes do not need to be expensive. There can be many free or inexpensive grounding things around us that we can use when we’re feeling we need to self soothe. Some ideas could be:
- Writing a letter to yourself that you’ve written when you were in a regulated or happy place. It could include the words like: “if you’ve opened me, I reckon you are struggling right now. I can’t believe how far you’ve come. Be kind to yourself and reach out to your best friend”.
- Written notes from the people closest to you. This might be an inside joke or a message of compassion from them. It may be a reminder from them to reach out to them when you’re struggling. Connecting with others can be really important in supporting our mental health and not feeling alone in those difficult moments.
- A link to a video or a music playlist that makes you laugh, feel calm or grounds you
- Ear plugs if you find noise overstimulating
- Some of your favourite music lyrics that allow you to explore and think about the feelings you are experiencing
- A pair of fluffy socks
- A piece of paper and a pen to write down your thoughts, emotions or what’s triggered you
- A colouring book or a piece of paper with coloured pens
- A pre-made safety plan
Having a safety plan in a self-soothing box
It might be worth having a written and ready safety plan that you’ve made in a regulated head space. It may include the number of crisis lines, the name and number of your best friend, a list of things that help and don’t help. Having a safety plan ready when you’re in crisis can be really helpful, to make sure you can make choices that keep you as safe as possible and can hopefully help self-regulate. Here is an example of a safety plan:
Numbers of crisis lines | Samaritans: 116 123
Virtual Safe Haven: sabp.nhs.uk/our-services/mental-health/safe-havens SHOUT: Text 85258 |
What helps regulate me: | Having a hug with someone
Talking to my best friend Going for a walk Writing down what I’m feeling and what triggered me |
What makes a crisis worse for me: | Speaking to: …
Being in a loud space Being told “…..” |
What do I need from others: | People to stay calm
People to offer to take me to a crisis centre/my GP Space – hugs don’t help…. |
Who has a copy of this plan | Sibling/GP/Best friend/Parent… |
For more ideas and support with self-soothing boxes, go to: youngminds.org.uk
Sources:
Jenkins, Alexandra; Guttridge, Lydia; Kapoor, Aparna, Abuse: An International Impact Journal, Volume 5, Number 2, 1 October 2024, pp. 52-67(16)
Evaluating the effectiveness of personalised self-soothe boxes on…: Ingenta Connect
Bestforyou.org.uk
Youngminds.org.uk